I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize