found the other keg... it's in the tree
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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