Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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