I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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