Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
