i don't like sucking hair
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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