She swung at the pinata with crutches
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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