Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
