no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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