what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
