dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
please come you make the beer taste better
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
