I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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