i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
