Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
