I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
