so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I showed him my bush... on skype.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
