Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your penis caused this!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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