it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
