I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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