Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
