one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize