I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
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i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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