why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
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That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
There are leaves in my underwear?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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