Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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