We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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