You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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