her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
