You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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