he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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