fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
