I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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