yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
