i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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