I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
