ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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