Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
