Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
