why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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