I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
