i'm signing you up for texting rehab
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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