Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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