I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
