Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
