I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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