Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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