She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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