I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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