8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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