margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize