Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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