you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
