someone get that fucking seahorse.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
