rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
