Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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