my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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