k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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