do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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