my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
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It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
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because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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