Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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