I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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